Big Red Barn Adventure

Shortly before the birth of our son, I started through a period of introspection and self-reflection. I knew the corporate path I was on was not completely fulfilling something deep inside. The week before E joined us, I was placed on what I call "house arrest" because my job was too far from the hospital for my doctor's comfort.  Those that know me, including my doctor, knew that I couldn't be restricted to bed. After all, the days of "bed rest" with my daughter three years prior were far from the rest they were supposed to be.  That week I nested more than before, aided by the fact that we scheduled our house to be painted shortly before my due date. With a fresh coat of paint on the house,the nesting bug in full force, I was organizing, cleaning, rearranging furniture, and finally  convinced we needed a new wreath on the front door. With one quick trip to the craft store, something was sparked!

As a child I created wreaths, quilts, painted wooden crafts, scrapbooks, and redecorated my mother's house while she as a work rearranging furniture, creating accessories out of fabric scraps and sheets. I drew dream houses on graph paper for friends but sadly when people asked me what I wanted to be "architect" or "interior designer" were never the answer.  I doubted my talent, or made excuses about what I "should" be when I grow up.  The same could be said for why I never used my decent LSAT score to get into law school. For too many years, I dismissed the creative hobbies that energized me as possible occupations. The birth of my son and watching my daughter enter preschool changed my perspective and reminded me that doing something that energized me made me a better (happier) mother, wife, and friend.

When I returned to work following maternity leave, I had more questions about my path than ever before. My maternity leave had been far from enjoyable, at no fault of my family's, and returning to work left me plagued with anxiety, doubt, and lacking my trademark self confidence and leadership. A visit to a local pumpkin patch last fall made the spark grow from a tiny ember to small fire in my soul, craving creative outlets. I felt it in my bones, I told my friends and family of my new dream - of the Big Red Barn. 

The term "Big Red Barn" become synonymous with an alternate reality founded in passion, creativity and peace in my life. I am student of myself, my personality, what makes me who I am, and where I want to go in this life.  This is the adventure and journey to the "Big Red Barn". I will share what I have learned about myself, offer resources where you can learn more about you, empower self confidence and encourage you to embrace the everyday and the journey of changing perception and pursing your dream. 

A close friend (part of my AAA, you'll find out more about as we go) told me I am too stubborn to fail. Sure hope she is right, because one thing I know is fear of failure keeps me from taking leaps of faith. This blog and my pursuit of the Big Red Barn are just that - and I am jumping in!

Follow my adventure of self-discover, quest for my place of peace (the Big Red Barn), and hopefully a piece of land that will become Homestead Farms here -